Five Reasons Why I Quit Drinking Before I Hit Bottom
#2 — I couldn’t trust myself anymore.
On January 29, 2019, I decided I was done with drinking. I didn’t hit rock bottom. I never brushed my teeth with Jack Daniels (thanks, Kesha). I wasn’t a lost cause by my friends and family. I have some sad/scary drinking stories I could share, but they’re cute compared to what I’ve read in memoirs.
People often assume when they find out I don’t drink that it’s because I went off the deep end. This entirely ignores the other reasons I wanted to quit, and there are many.
1. I didn’t want things to get worse.
There’s alcohol use disorder on both sides of my family tree. I started drinking when I was 15. I quit when I was 25.
I did enough damage in one decade to decide I didn’t want to do anymore.
2. I couldn’t trust myself anymore.
Things sounded like lies as soon as they came out of my mouth.
I won’t text that guy I know is bad news. I won’t have more than two drinks tonight. I won’t spend another Sunday hungover. I won’t order $60 of McDonalds to be delivered at 3:00 a.m. I’ll never black out again.
I was so out of touch with my instincts I didn’t even have their phone number anymore. I’m happy to report we’ve reunited. Although we have our miscommunications, my instincts and I are good pals again.
3. I was tired of trying to make alcohol work for me.
I did three ‘dry’ months. I tried moderation. I did Whole30. None of it created lasting change in my lifestyle.
I gave it my best shot, but the fact that alcohol sucks prevailed. I wasn’t a failure — it was just time to try something else.
4. I didn’t like that alcohol made me prone to ditching my values.
After many nights of throwing away my integrity and dignity, I admitted to myself that booze brought out a self-destructive side of me that was scary.
5. I didn’t want to live in denial anymore.
I quit when I got tired of pretending that alcohol wasn’t creating problems and stress in my life.
I got sick of my own bullshit, so I threw in the towel.
Consider this to be a golden ticket that reads, “No, you do not need to hit bottom to quit.”
I didn’t.
